Not the type of Roller Coaster I want to be on... #Sweet2Senegal

I have now been living in Botou for over 5 weeks now. 5 weeks of difficult language learning. 5 weeks of feeling as if I am on an emotional roller coaster that seems more on the down slope than the upward pull. 5 weeks of meeting my village of over 1,500 people and trying to figure out where I exactly belong in it. No day here has been perfect yet. I know there probably (in challah) will be one, but for now I have been trying to enjoy the upswing of my roller coaster and trying to avoid staying in the dips of the low points.

Here is the thing, I have been living in Senegal for over 110 days and honestly I still don’t know what my job is and what direction I am going in. Although I have not been changing the world every day during my service, I have been changing MY world and have been allowing myself to be selfish and just take time to figure things out.

I have been practicing sitting still. Crazy I know right? I never sit still unless I had a big bag of Doritos in my hand and I was binge watching Netflix under my fluffy blanket in America. This is a different type of still. I have been watching life pass me by and taking time to understand how things work. I watch my mother crack peanuts from when she wakes up till when she goes to bed. I watch and hold a flashlight in the dark so that my brothers and sisters can study just a little more French before they go to bed at night. I watch my aunt cook amazing food to feed our big compound. I also watch my dad plant in his garden and come over when he tells me I need to learn this new Senegalese farming technique. Every day I watch, listen, and just am still.

With all that time on my hands through observing and listening, my Bambara has slowly improved. I have noticed that through my own personal learning process I am reminded of my students that I taught in Philadelphia. My amazing students who all craved support and acknowledgement that said, “Hey, look at me I am doing it right this time!” I CRAVE IT! I don’t understand why right now in my life I need to feel that support and in the Senegalese culture they are not ones to point out the good things every day. They more point out the fact that I have a pimple on my face or I ate too much food that day that my stomach is getting bigger. Definitely not the support I was looking for. However, I have been enjoying my time and trying to remind myself that my community needs me just as much as I need it.

I know this is a lot to put in a blog post however I strive to be transparent with my friends and family back home. This job is one of the hardest things I have ever had to explain to them (just ask my mother… I am surprised she still takes my calls when I talk about culture problems with her!).

 My job is irritating, amazing, frustrating, and drives me insane all the time that the Malaria medication isn’t the only reason my hair is falling out.

I am simply ready for the upward pull of the roller coaster.

Herra Doron

 {Peace Only}